


alone (together)

by audumbs



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Canon Universe, F/M, Light Angst, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 13:13:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18447284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audumbs/pseuds/audumbs
Summary: Hawke notices the way the Inquistor talks with that man, the Grey Warden. She tries not to let it but it makes her miss him.





	alone (together)

Hawke watches the Inquisitor, just a little bit, before heading out. She's young, but determined-- lighthearted in all the places that could be dark. But as much as she tried not to, Hawke notices the way she talks with that man, the Grey Warden. A man a little older than her and reserved, but warmer around her. She tries not to let it but it makes her miss him.

(miss him more, anyway)

Its too easy to remember the last day, the explosion, the impossible choice. Too easy to let that consume her thoughts. But seeing the two smile like that, it brings Hawke back to her own young romance. Because, no matter what people want to say now, Anders was sweet. Maker's breath, Anders was so sweet. Who else would live among the diseased and the rot to heal others without any other motivation besides wanting to help? Who else would so calmly assure the dying, stroke their hair while it happens so they needn't feel more alone. 

Anders once told her how he worried that dying was the loneliest act, a notion that haunted him. What if that of the fade does not come quickly enough? How much emptiness or void lay in between? He feared these moments, wanted to assure they go easily. Hawke thinks of this often, while she absentmindedly fiddles with her staff or when she takes a final blow. She wonders if that's why he wanted her to kill him, if it was less lonely that way, if, in case the fade never came for him, she would've been the last thing he knew. She hates the thought and tries to bury it back in her mind as soon as it pops up, can't handle whatever implications follow. 

But here she is again thinking about it, when she was trying to think of the good-- how soft his touch could be or how easy his smile, the reassuring feeling of waking up next to him or the calm of going to bed. Things that were lonely no longer so. 

And now she was lonely again.

It was easier to love him than miss him, all consuming as both are. Seeing the inquisitor laugh at something the man says, a laugh that bellows loud enough Hawke can hear it some feet away, she feels that love again. Bursting through her chest, she almost can't feel the part that exists only to miss him. She can almost imagine he is still here, whispering some snide comment about the Wardens or something Fenris said into her ear, arm placed at her back ready to hold her up when she knocks her head back to laugh and can let herself loose balance. With her back pressed against the stone wall, its almost like he's there.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading!!!!


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